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Showing posts with label Brews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brews. Show all posts
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The definition of definitions.
We here at ToddBlog would like you to meet a very special young man. This is Dann, who in this picture, looks like some sort of masked nightmare. We were lucky enough to chat with Dann about his latest and greatest life changing experience, a NO POINT SUSPENSION. That's right kids, no points. Just a man, some rope, and a pair of brass balls. We were unable to record this event due to its extreme content, but let me tell you, it was intense. We got to chat with Dann about his experience a little, and here is what he had to say:
"It was crazy! I didn't think i would be able to go through with it, but all it took was some strong will and a huge bucket of lidocane (which was injected directly into my spine). At one point, i thought i was able to feel something, but then realised that i had been injected with lidocane and really felt nothing. "
Well Dann, we here at TBHQ salute you! In a time where people are constantly one-upping each other, we are glad someone was brave enough to lay it all on the line.
Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
Monday, April 26, 2010
ToddBlog Celebrity Interview
With APP just around the corner we thought it was only right to interview someone who everyone attending this years conference could learn a lesson from. Unfortunately, this individual will not be attending this year, so this is as close as you are going to get. We have set up a great interview for you guys, so sit back with a glass of Kraken and relax, while we proudly present.
BEARDS, BEARS, AND MORE BEARDS: AN INTERVIEW WITH JOHN JOYCE.
We also included a few facts you may or may not have known about John Joyce.
ToddBlog: Ok lets start this off. So John, tell our readers a little about yourself.
John Joyce: Well, my name is John Joyce. I own Scarab Body Arts in Syracuse, NY. I have been piercing for almost 13 years, I'm a scarification artist, and a NY State Licensed Massage Therapist. But everyone knows that stuff, so let's see... I also ride a harley, hunt bears, prefer to be outside, and wouldn't be half the man I am today if Shawn Porter wasn't my life coach.
Did you know? John Joyce built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, John Joyce met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
ToddBlog: "Life coach" huh? So that's what the kids are calling it these days? Hunting bears and riding Harleys are pretty manly things. Would you be so kind, and tell our readers how one can be so manly and still be one of the nicest people on the planet?
Speaking of which, we did a little research on you before this interview, and we found an interesting little tidbit. Is it true that you once single handily saved 120 children from a burning orphanage?
John Joyce: Yup, "life coach". Despite what he may say, I find that Shawn is a good person to have on your side in this industry. I am also lucky enough to be able to call him a friend. Most importantly though, he is kind of like my moral compass. hahaha
As far as being so manly and still being one of the nicest people on the planet... Well, I'm going to answer this one a bit more seriously. I was raised by the ultimate manly man. My father is hard working, intelligent, responsible, loyal, humble,and has every quality you could possibly want in another human being. I was taught from a very young age that being a "man" wasn't about acting tough and being an asshole. Being a "man" was about responsibility, to your family, your friends, and yourself. It was about being mentally tough and knowing you can accomplish whatever you want, without acting tough and being a dick to other people. It was about helping other people out when they need it, not taking advantage or other people, and always sticking to your personal ethics and morals. It was about never taking the easy way out of something, and if you're going to do something then do it right and put 100% into it. Knowing when you need help, and not being afraid to ask for it, but try your damn hardest first. Should i go on... haha
These things have stuck with me, and I put those views into everything I do. It's how i run my business, it's how I run my life. I treat people with respect, I work hard, I don't cut corners, and I am loyal to my friends and family. Now to make this a little less serious, I also think it has to do with the music i was brought up on. I grew up listening to Willie Nelson, Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kiss, etc.... Music that kicked ass, talked about working hard, and earning what you have. Today's kids, listen to a bunch of whiny, feel sorry for me bullshit! harden the fuck up already. If you're in your 20's have never had a real job, and still live in your parents basement, you'll probably never be a real man! just sayin...
As for single handily saving 120 children from a burning orphanage... It was actually 147, but who's keeping track. I had to save them to pass my test into manhood. I manned up, sprouted a beard from pure will. Then i pulled a beard hair out, when i did that a single tear ran down my cheek. At that exact moment the heavens opened up and it started to rain. The children were saved.
ToddBlog: Well, we feel it's safe to say that your father should be very proud of your accomplishments. As far as 20 year olds listening to whiny bullshit music, we couldn't agree more. They should definitely "harden the fuck up".
You mentioned that you sprouted a bread from pure will, something like that takes talent. Do you have any other
talents like this you would like to share with our readers?
ToddBlog: Agreed. I for one have found myself in many situations where a bear skin rug would indeed come in handy, but unfortunately i am not manly enough to own one.
It's been great chatting with you John. Thanks for giving us a little insight on the man behind the beard. Are there any last words you would like to share with our readers?
Did you know? They once made a John Joyce toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
John Joyce: you really should look into the bear skin rug todd. It truly is an essential.
It's been great chatting with you as well. last words, hmmm lets see....
First...
For everyone out there right now that thinks they want to be a piercer, don't do it. that is of course unless you can get an apprenticeship with a well respected piercer in this industry. If you can not, just don't do it, there are enough half ass piercers out there and I'm tired of fixing your mistakes. If you're not sure if the piercer you are thinking about apprenticing under is well respected, send Shawn Porter a message and he'll set you straight.
Second... If you are sitting around right now listening to some depressing emo shit, have never had a real job, still live at home, and use phrases like Fuck My Life on a regular basis, harden the fuck up already! Your self deprecating view on life will get you no where. When i was growing up, it was always "fuck you", it was never "fuck me". I don't know when it became cool for guys in their twenties to still act like teenage shitheads, but it's absolutely not cool. Life is what you make it, if you are going around everyday saying fuck my life then that is what you'll get, a fucked life! Shit or get off the pot already, go do something with yourself.
Third... Whatever you are doing, give 100% and do it right. If you want to be a piercer, be the best damn piercer you can be. Don't decide you're going to be a scarification artist when you are still figuring out the basics of piercing. Don't start doing surgical mods when you can't pierce a navel straight. And maybe most importantly, put some thing other than microdermals and corset piercings in your portfolio.
I could keep going but we'll need a whole other interview just for last rants. haha So let's end this on a more positive note. I'm grateful that I've been able to make a career out of doing what I love. I'm even more grateful that I've been excepted into the cranky old piercers club. To all the young piercers out there, keep up the hard work, do your best, keep learning and progressing, know your limits, and stick to your morals and ethics. Do that, and I'll save an easy chair for you so you can bitch with the rest of us. And with that, my coffee is getting cold, so I'm out!
Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
BEARDS, BEARS, AND MORE BEARDS: AN INTERVIEW WITH JOHN JOYCE.
We also included a few facts you may or may not have known about John Joyce.
ToddBlog: Ok lets start this off. So John, tell our readers a little about yourself.
John Joyce: Well, my name is John Joyce. I own Scarab Body Arts in Syracuse, NY. I have been piercing for almost 13 years, I'm a scarification artist, and a NY State Licensed Massage Therapist. But everyone knows that stuff, so let's see... I also ride a harley, hunt bears, prefer to be outside, and wouldn't be half the man I am today if Shawn Porter wasn't my life coach.
Did you know? John Joyce built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, John Joyce met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
ToddBlog: "Life coach" huh? So that's what the kids are calling it these days? Hunting bears and riding Harleys are pretty manly things. Would you be so kind, and tell our readers how one can be so manly and still be one of the nicest people on the planet?
Speaking of which, we did a little research on you before this interview, and we found an interesting little tidbit. Is it true that you once single handily saved 120 children from a burning orphanage?
Did you know? John Joyce has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
John Joyce: Yup, "life coach". Despite what he may say, I find that Shawn is a good person to have on your side in this industry. I am also lucky enough to be able to call him a friend. Most importantly though, he is kind of like my moral compass. hahaha
As far as being so manly and still being one of the nicest people on the planet... Well, I'm going to answer this one a bit more seriously. I was raised by the ultimate manly man. My father is hard working, intelligent, responsible, loyal, humble,and has every quality you could possibly want in another human being. I was taught from a very young age that being a "man" wasn't about acting tough and being an asshole. Being a "man" was about responsibility, to your family, your friends, and yourself. It was about being mentally tough and knowing you can accomplish whatever you want, without acting tough and being a dick to other people. It was about helping other people out when they need it, not taking advantage or other people, and always sticking to your personal ethics and morals. It was about never taking the easy way out of something, and if you're going to do something then do it right and put 100% into it. Knowing when you need help, and not being afraid to ask for it, but try your damn hardest first. Should i go on... haha
These things have stuck with me, and I put those views into everything I do. It's how i run my business, it's how I run my life. I treat people with respect, I work hard, I don't cut corners, and I am loyal to my friends and family. Now to make this a little less serious, I also think it has to do with the music i was brought up on. I grew up listening to Willie Nelson, Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kiss, etc.... Music that kicked ass, talked about working hard, and earning what you have. Today's kids, listen to a bunch of whiny, feel sorry for me bullshit! harden the fuck up already. If you're in your 20's have never had a real job, and still live in your parents basement, you'll probably never be a real man! just sayin...
As for single handily saving 120 children from a burning orphanage... It was actually 147, but who's keeping track. I had to save them to pass my test into manhood. I manned up, sprouted a beard from pure will. Then i pulled a beard hair out, when i did that a single tear ran down my cheek. At that exact moment the heavens opened up and it started to rain. The children were saved.
ToddBlog: Well, we feel it's safe to say that your father should be very proud of your accomplishments. As far as 20 year olds listening to whiny bullshit music, we couldn't agree more. They should definitely "harden the fuck up".
You mentioned that you sprouted a bread from pure will, something like that takes talent. Do you have any other
talents like this you would like to share with our readers?
Did you know? Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat John Joyce. John showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.
John Joyce: 2 words for you, cock push ups! yup!!
More importantly though, I seem to have a natural ability to make people around me feel comfortable and calm. It helps a lot as a piercer and as a scarification artists. To be honest it's probably even more relevant with my massage clients.
ToddBlog: Enough cock push ups will make any whiny angst filled teen into a bad ass with enough effort.
Good bed side manner is a definite must to be a quality piercer/scarification artist/rubber downer. Having had at least one of the three performed by you on myself i can say that your bed side manner can definitely put a client at ease (I'm still waiting for my rub down).
We want to touch on a somewhat sensitive subject for you. You mention Shawn Porter being somewhat of a life coach to you, and we know there is a bit more to it than you are letting out. How does Natalie feel about your intimate (and I'm stressing intimate here) relationship with another man? I can't imagine the thought of her future husband having relations with another man which may or may not be taking place on top of a bear skin rug sitting well with her.
Did you know? John Joyce was the fourth Wise man. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have John omitted from the Bible.
John Joyce: I'd like to elaborate more on this relationship between Shawn and I, but... "we said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?"
And that is all i have to say about that. However, as a manly bear hunter, I do happen to keep a bear skin rug handy. You just never know when the situation will call for one.
ToddBlog: Agreed. I for one have found myself in many situations where a bear skin rug would indeed come in handy, but unfortunately i am not manly enough to own one.
It's been great chatting with you John. Thanks for giving us a little insight on the man behind the beard. Are there any last words you would like to share with our readers?
Did you know? They once made a John Joyce toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
John Joyce: you really should look into the bear skin rug todd. It truly is an essential.
It's been great chatting with you as well. last words, hmmm lets see....
First...
For everyone out there right now that thinks they want to be a piercer, don't do it. that is of course unless you can get an apprenticeship with a well respected piercer in this industry. If you can not, just don't do it, there are enough half ass piercers out there and I'm tired of fixing your mistakes. If you're not sure if the piercer you are thinking about apprenticing under is well respected, send Shawn Porter a message and he'll set you straight.
Second... If you are sitting around right now listening to some depressing emo shit, have never had a real job, still live at home, and use phrases like Fuck My Life on a regular basis, harden the fuck up already! Your self deprecating view on life will get you no where. When i was growing up, it was always "fuck you", it was never "fuck me". I don't know when it became cool for guys in their twenties to still act like teenage shitheads, but it's absolutely not cool. Life is what you make it, if you are going around everyday saying fuck my life then that is what you'll get, a fucked life! Shit or get off the pot already, go do something with yourself.
Third... Whatever you are doing, give 100% and do it right. If you want to be a piercer, be the best damn piercer you can be. Don't decide you're going to be a scarification artist when you are still figuring out the basics of piercing. Don't start doing surgical mods when you can't pierce a navel straight. And maybe most importantly, put some thing other than microdermals and corset piercings in your portfolio.
I could keep going but we'll need a whole other interview just for last rants. haha So let's end this on a more positive note. I'm grateful that I've been able to make a career out of doing what I love. I'm even more grateful that I've been excepted into the cranky old piercers club. To all the young piercers out there, keep up the hard work, do your best, keep learning and progressing, know your limits, and stick to your morals and ethics. Do that, and I'll save an easy chair for you so you can bitch with the rest of us. And with that, my coffee is getting cold, so I'm out!
Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year to all our loyal followers!
We hope all you boys and girls had fun celebrating saying so long to 2009 and hello to 2010. You can rest assured that we brought in the new year in typical ToddBlog fashion. It was a regular red carpet event at the ToddBlog HQ last night and all your favorite celebs were in attendance. Everything from strippers to wrestling midgets could be seen during any point of the evening, Unfortunately, most of us here at HQ don't really remember much, but we have been piecing the night together bit by bit. The main events that have stood out are priceless to say the least.
Highlights include:
Stephen venturing upstairs with what was thought to be a beautiful young lady, only to return moments later less than amused to find out she was in fact a young Mexican lad named Juan.
Tod Almighty bringing a blindingly drunk Cameron to his room to "tuck him in". Come to think of it, that was the last we saw of Tod as well.
Sarvas deciding he wanted to take on all the midgets in a royal rumble style wrestling match, which didn't end too well for our little man child. But don't worry, he is out of the ER with only a minor concussion and a few broken ribs.
As for now, that's about all we can manage to remember, but we really believe the night was a complete success. We hope you all had a great time last night and took you morning after pills this morning. Stay tuned because we have a lot in store for you in 2010. Now to find the Tylenol...
Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Cleaning the Streets.
So apparently, when certain sales reps for very prestigious jewelry companies decide to go to lunch together *cough Stephen and Tod cough*, they tend to get into a little bit of trouble. Word is they had a couple drinks and decided to help clean the streets of their fair city.
Well we here at ToddBlog want to salute you two for your valiant (yet completely destructive) effort. Good job guys! Next time, maybe you should just order in...
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I just found these floating around and felt I had to share, because, fuck, they made me laugh..Have a bitchin' Sunday my peoples.
Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Where the hell is everyone?
Oh, thats right, TODD(blog) is on vacation in Mexico.
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Love Is In The Air
It seems that you really can find true love in Vegas. The two love birds in this picture are Spike and Ashley. They met poolside at the Tropicana during the APP opening party, and it was love at first sight. We here at ToddBlog can't help but get a little teary eyed over such a beautiful moment. We wish you two the best, and cant wait until the wedding.
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Who killed Bambi?
This submission comes to us all the way from the west coast. The Elmer Fudd looking fellow in this picture is StePHen Detoma, who writes to us saying:
"Hey brah,
I was trompin through the forrest huntin rabbit when i accidentally shot this deer. i decided to take it home with me, cause i knew it would make a wicked good stew. Only problem was, the damn thing wouldn't fit in my cah. I had nothin to cut em' up with so i went to a local bah and got a saw to do the deed. I figured i might as well grab a drink while there. "
Well StePHen, all we can hope is that your stew was "wicked good".
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *
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