Black Robe Society

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ToddBlog Celebrity Interview

With APP just around the corner we thought it was only right to interview someone who everyone attending this years conference could learn a lesson from. Unfortunately, this individual will not be attending this year, so this is as close as you are going to get. We have set up a great interview for you guys, so sit back with a glass of Kraken and relax, while we proudly present.





BEARDS, BEARS, AND MORE BEARDS: AN INTERVIEW WITH JOHN JOYCE.



We also included a few facts you may or may not have known about John Joyce.



ToddBlog: Ok lets start this off. So John, tell our readers a little about yourself.





John Joyce: Well, my name is John Joyce. I own Scarab Body Arts in Syracuse, NY. I have been piercing for almost 13 years, I'm a scarification artist, and a NY State Licensed Massage Therapist. But everyone knows that stuff, so let's see... I also ride a harley, hunt bears, prefer to be outside, and wouldn't be half the man I am today if Shawn Porter wasn't my life coach.



Did you know? John Joyce built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, John Joyce met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.



ToddBlog: "Life coach" huh? So that's what the kids are calling it these days? Hunting bears and riding Harleys are pretty manly things. Would you be so kind, and tell our readers how one can be so manly and still be one of the nicest people on the planet?

Speaking of which, we did a little research on you before this interview, and we found an interesting little tidbit. Is it true that you once single handily saved 120 children from a burning orphanage?

Did you know? John Joyce has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

John Joyce: Yup, "life coach". Despite what he may say, I find that Shawn is a good person to have on your side in this industry. I am also lucky enough to be able to call him a friend. Most importantly though, he is kind of like my moral compass. hahaha

As far as being so manly and still being one of the nicest people on the planet... Well, I'm going to answer this one a bit more seriously. I was raised by the ultimate manly man. My father is hard working, intelligent, responsible, loyal, humble,and has every quality you could possibly want in another human being. I was taught from a very young age that being a "man" wasn't about acting tough and being an asshole. Being a "man" was about responsibility, to your family, your friends, and yourself. It was about being mentally tough and knowing you can accomplish whatever you want, without acting tough and being a dick to other people. It was about helping other people out when they need it, not taking advantage or other people, and always sticking to your personal ethics and morals. It was about never taking the easy way out of something, and if you're going to do something then do it right and put 100% into it. Knowing when you need help, and not being afraid to ask for it, but try your damn hardest first. Should i go on... haha

These things have stuck with me, and I put those views into everything I do. It's how i run my business, it's how I run my life. I treat people with respect, I work hard, I don't cut corners, and I am loyal to my friends and family. Now to make this a little less serious, I also think it has to do with the music i was brought up on. I grew up listening to Willie Nelson, Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kiss, etc.... Music that kicked ass, talked about working hard, and earning what you have. Today's kids, listen to a bunch of whiny, feel sorry for me bullshit! harden the fuck up already. If you're in your 20's have never had a real job, and still live in your parents basement, you'll probably never be a real man! just sayin...

As for single handily saving 120 children from a burning orphanage... It was actually 147, but who's keeping track. I had to save them to pass my test into manhood. I manned up, sprouted a beard from pure will. Then i pulled a beard hair out, when i did that a single tear ran down my cheek. At that exact moment the heavens opened up and it started to rain. The children were saved.







ToddBlog: Well, we feel it's safe to say that your father should be very proud of your accomplishments. As far as 20 year olds listening to whiny bullshit music, we couldn't agree more. They should definitely "harden the fuck up".

You mentioned that you sprouted a bread from pure will, something like that takes talent. Do you have any other
talents like this you would like to share with our readers?

Did you know? Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat John Joyce. John showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

John Joyce: 2 words for you, cock push ups! yup!!

More importantly though, I seem to have a natural ability to make people around me feel comfortable and calm. It helps a lot as a piercer and as a scarification artists. To be honest it's probably even more relevant with my massage clients.

ToddBlog: Enough cock push ups will make any whiny angst filled teen into a bad ass with enough effort.

Good bed side manner is a definite must to be a quality piercer/scarification artist/rubber downer. Having had at least one of the three performed by you on myself i can say that your bed side manner can definitely put a client at ease (I'm still waiting for my rub down).

We want to touch on a somewhat sensitive subject for you. You mention Shawn Porter being somewhat of a life coach to you, and we know there is a bit more to it than you are letting out. How does Natalie feel about your intimate (and I'm stressing intimate here) relationship with another man? I can't imagine the thought of her future husband having relations with another man which may or may not be taking place on top of a bear skin rug sitting well with her.

Did you know? John Joyce was the fourth Wise man. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have John omitted from the Bible.

John Joyce: I'd like to elaborate more on this relationship between Shawn and I, but... "we said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?"
And that is all i have to say about that. However, as a manly bear hunter, I do happen to keep a bear skin rug handy. You just never know when the situation will call for one.

ToddBlog: Agreed. I for one have found myself in many situations where a bear skin rug would indeed come in handy, but unfortunately i am not manly enough to own one.

It's been great chatting with you John. Thanks for giving us a little insight on the man behind the beard. Are there any last words you would like to share with our readers?



Did you know? They once made a John Joyce toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.



John Joyce: you really should look into the bear skin rug todd. It truly is an essential.

It's been great chatting with you as well. last words, hmmm lets see....
First...
For everyone out there right now that thinks they want to be a piercer, don't do it. that is of course unless you can get an apprenticeship with a well respected piercer in this industry. If you can not, just don't do it, there are enough half ass piercers out there and I'm tired of fixing your mistakes. If you're not sure if the piercer you are thinking about apprenticing under is well respected, send Shawn Porter a message and he'll set you straight.

Second... If you are sitting around right now listening to some depressing emo shit, have never had a real job, still live at home, and use phrases like Fuck My Life on a regular basis, harden the fuck up already! Your self deprecating view on life will get you no where. When i was growing up, it was always "fuck you", it was never "fuck me". I don't know when it became cool for guys in their twenties to still act like teenage shitheads, but it's absolutely not cool. Life is what you make it, if you are going around everyday saying fuck my life then that is what you'll get, a fucked life! Shit or get off the pot already, go do something with yourself.
Third... Whatever you are doing, give 100% and do it right. If you want to be a piercer, be the best damn piercer you can be. Don't decide you're going to be a scarification artist when you are still figuring out the basics of piercing. Don't start doing surgical mods when you can't pierce a navel straight. And maybe most importantly, put some thing other than microdermals and corset piercings in your portfolio.

I could keep going but we'll need a whole other interview just for last rants. haha So let's end this on a more positive note. I'm grateful that I've been able to make a career out of doing what I love. I'm even more grateful that I've been excepted into the cranky old piercers club. To all the young piercers out there, keep up the hard work, do your best, keep learning and progressing, know your limits, and stick to your morals and ethics. Do that, and I'll save an easy chair for you so you can bitch with the rest of us. And with that, my coffee is getting cold, so I'm out!





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I just found these floating around and felt I had to share, because, fuck, they made me laugh..

Have a bitchin' Sunday my peoples.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

"I'll fix *your* little red wagon...." 

Ladies and Gentlemen, The one and only Tod Almighty.

Stay tuned for interviews, roundtable discussions, the return of Todd(blog) from his Mexican vacation and more generaly sillyness.

Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Wieners Wrapped In Bacon

We here at ToddBlog like the simple things in life. Sunny days, a cool breeze, and bacon on our wieners. Today is the East Coast BBQ, if you don't know what that is you'd better ask somebody. We will be heading up to the festivities later this evening, and hopefully coming back with a camera full of pictures and a whole mess of updates for you guys.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Dynamic Duo

Over the years there have been many outstanding Duos. Duos like Batman and Robin, Shaggy and Scooby Doo, Zim and Gir, Tango and Cash, ect...

We here at ToddBlog wanted to let you in on one more, Scott and Shawn. I don't think they will be rescuing your cat out of any trees, but a duo none the less.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

ToddBlog's Much Anticipated 2nd Celebrity Interview.

Hello loyal readers,

For our second celebrity interview, we here at ToddBlog chose a very interesting individual. He has been a part of the modification community for longer than most of you have been alive. He ran his own modification based website called SPC, has hosted all 3 Scar Wars events, hosted and co - hosted many others, thrown countless parties ( some of you may have attended these. if so, i think you dropped something.), and holds an archive of some of the most fascinating stories and moments of the modification community. Ladies and Gentlemen we are proud to give you,

Jars Filled With Wisdom:

An interview with Shawn Porter.

Pictured above: The infamous Shawn Porter.

(Although it may look like Shawn is praying, he isn't.

God just asked him for a personal favor in hopes that people would follow.)

bitch bitch bitch. gimme a damn minute will ya?!

ToddBlog: Shawn, could you please tell our readers what you are doing right now?

SP: Hello Todd-

Thanks for the opportunity to spend some time with the ToddBlog readers.

It's been a pretty long day, so I'm unwinding the same way I normally do; I'm laying fully clothed in my oversized bed while my semi-naked, barely legal girlfriend gets dressed so she can run to the ATM to treat me to Chinese for dinner. As I type, I hear the Ice Cream truck driving by, so if she hurries she can also buy me a a Ninja Turtle icecream bar- those have gumball eyeballs. I hope she'll get Donatello, but I'll take Raphael if they don't. If she brings me back a Michaelangelo, it's going straight to the trash. Sure they all TASTE the same, but I do have some standards.

ToddBlog: Coincidentally, we are having chinese food for dinner at the TBHQ as well. I guess great minds do think alike. Although we wont be fortunate enough to enjoy a tasty Ninja Turtles ice cream bar before hand. So as we have mentioned, you have done a lot for this community such as hosting and organizing major events, passing on stories and interviews with some of the founders of the tattoo and piercing industry, running web sites, and much more. After all this, you only needed to know Sarvas to be recognized as an part of the industry. That seems a bit off, don't you think?

SP: Not really, Todd.... and I should point out that I'm much more readily identified by my string of star-fucking exes than I am my connection (and possible parentage) of Sarvas Berry. Hell, there are shops that are primarily staffed by women I've been intimate with. That said, the piercing industry (which I've taken to calling "the Hobby" of late) is a young man's game these days- and if it takes a man-baby like SB to prove my connection, which in turn keeps the steady stream of young trim coming, then by christ I'll take what I can get. I could have a worse legacy than that.

ToddBlog: We have no doubts of the countless women you have been intimate with in the industry (and out). Would you say that being intimate with you has somehow gotten them where they are today? And if so, would you recommend any women new to this industry, seek you out for help with making a name for themselves?

SP: I'm more the patient old bull than the rough and ready young calf these days; truth be told I feel it's my place to encourage and mentor the next generation or "morally flexible" practitioners out there to seize the opportunity to trade what they know for a little slap and tickle. I saw a bunch of business cards in Las Vegas that let me know that the practice is still alive and well. Besides, I have much more respect for the lladies who got into this industry the old fashioned way: by making up their references because no one checks anyway.

ToddBlog: You mentioned that lately you have been referring to piercing as a "hobby", would you care to enlighten our readers on what you mean by that?

SP: In fairness, Todd, I did give it a little more respect than that. I didn't call it "a" hobby. I called it "The" Hobby.

It reminds me of that old joke: Those who can, Tattoo. Those who can't... become a piercer.

You'll have the coolest job outside of Hot Topic for at LEAST a couple of years; which is MORE than enough time to get heavily tattooed on your hands, neck and face. That should allow you to catch up to the 3.5" you "gauged" your lobes and nostrils to.

If you time it right, it should coincide with your 20th birthday and your fifth year as a piercer. After that... its time to start looking into "buying in". Learn to tattoo, buy a shop, grow marijuana... anything that will actually yield you a consistent income and provide you with some sort of tangible, realistic future.

ToddBlog: We apologize for miss reading what you wrote, and thank you for clearing that up for our readers. We would hate for all the ToddBlog fans to feel you didn't support their drive to be a part of this industry. Which leads us to our next question. As you've pointed out, heavy mods are becoming more and more popular with the younger generations of (dare we call them) modders. Do you think that this is something that will stand the test of time, or is it more likely a fad that will soon die off leaving a lot of work for those who do correctional procedures?

SP: The body modification community, particularly the online community, has been living in a reality bubble for the last few years. The ideology was sold that you're somehow a cultural revolutionary for getting your pecker pierced, and that not only do you have the right to get your face modified till you don't look human anymore, but it's damn near your obligation.

But as my old friend Erik said to me in Dallas recently- "you always hear people talk about rights, but you never hear anyone talk about responsibility" (which is totally paraphrased... I was drunk and he's a human lizard) The lack of responsibility in the BodyMod Community (tm) is at an all time high.

Modification itself will stand the test of time; sure. But the echoes of what we're seeing right now- increasingly younger "kids" with questionably safe certainly inadvisable modifications- won't die down for a while. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel is long and the path is populated by a bunch of people who are out to make a name for themselves and to get exciting pictures for their portfolios but who by and large could care less about the client.... Jesus. That got serious there, didn't it?

ToddBlog: We can't thank you enough for taking time out of your very busy schedule to chat with us. Before we conclude this interview, are there any last words you would like to leave our readers?

SP: No worries, Todd... you know you're one of my favorite piercers out there- I knew when I apprenticed you (seriously, who's actually going to check your resume) that you'd eventually "get it". And you do. Final words? Sure.

"It's grammatically correct to say gauging. Stop being an elitist douche".

cheers.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Now Thats How You Eat A Steak!

We here at ToddBlog agree that this is the best way to eat. Having a young woman on your lap feeding you with a pocket knife. We can only wonder how any steak residue was wiped away.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *