30 Seconds with Meatloaf

It's hard to come up with a witty comment for this video, so why try. Here's Sarvas singing a Meatloaf/Skrewdriver mash-up. No Auto-tune needed.

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You Were Missed in Las Vegas, Sir...

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Black Robe Society

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ToddBlog Celebrity Interview

With APP just around the corner we thought it was only right to interview someone who everyone attending this years conference could learn a lesson from. Unfortunately, this individual will not be attending this year, so this is as close as you are going to get. We have set up a great interview for you guys, so sit back with a glass of Kraken and relax, while we proudly present.





BEARDS, BEARS, AND MORE BEARDS: AN INTERVIEW WITH JOHN JOYCE.



We also included a few facts you may or may not have known about John Joyce.



ToddBlog: Ok lets start this off. So John, tell our readers a little about yourself.





John Joyce: Well, my name is John Joyce. I own Scarab Body Arts in Syracuse, NY. I have been piercing for almost 13 years, I'm a scarification artist, and a NY State Licensed Massage Therapist. But everyone knows that stuff, so let's see... I also ride a harley, hunt bears, prefer to be outside, and wouldn't be half the man I am today if Shawn Porter wasn't my life coach.



Did you know? John Joyce built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, John Joyce met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.



ToddBlog: "Life coach" huh? So that's what the kids are calling it these days? Hunting bears and riding Harleys are pretty manly things. Would you be so kind, and tell our readers how one can be so manly and still be one of the nicest people on the planet?

Speaking of which, we did a little research on you before this interview, and we found an interesting little tidbit. Is it true that you once single handily saved 120 children from a burning orphanage?

Did you know? John Joyce has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

John Joyce: Yup, "life coach". Despite what he may say, I find that Shawn is a good person to have on your side in this industry. I am also lucky enough to be able to call him a friend. Most importantly though, he is kind of like my moral compass. hahaha

As far as being so manly and still being one of the nicest people on the planet... Well, I'm going to answer this one a bit more seriously. I was raised by the ultimate manly man. My father is hard working, intelligent, responsible, loyal, humble,and has every quality you could possibly want in another human being. I was taught from a very young age that being a "man" wasn't about acting tough and being an asshole. Being a "man" was about responsibility, to your family, your friends, and yourself. It was about being mentally tough and knowing you can accomplish whatever you want, without acting tough and being a dick to other people. It was about helping other people out when they need it, not taking advantage or other people, and always sticking to your personal ethics and morals. It was about never taking the easy way out of something, and if you're going to do something then do it right and put 100% into it. Knowing when you need help, and not being afraid to ask for it, but try your damn hardest first. Should i go on... haha

These things have stuck with me, and I put those views into everything I do. It's how i run my business, it's how I run my life. I treat people with respect, I work hard, I don't cut corners, and I am loyal to my friends and family. Now to make this a little less serious, I also think it has to do with the music i was brought up on. I grew up listening to Willie Nelson, Led Zeppelin, Motorhead, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Kiss, etc.... Music that kicked ass, talked about working hard, and earning what you have. Today's kids, listen to a bunch of whiny, feel sorry for me bullshit! harden the fuck up already. If you're in your 20's have never had a real job, and still live in your parents basement, you'll probably never be a real man! just sayin...

As for single handily saving 120 children from a burning orphanage... It was actually 147, but who's keeping track. I had to save them to pass my test into manhood. I manned up, sprouted a beard from pure will. Then i pulled a beard hair out, when i did that a single tear ran down my cheek. At that exact moment the heavens opened up and it started to rain. The children were saved.







ToddBlog: Well, we feel it's safe to say that your father should be very proud of your accomplishments. As far as 20 year olds listening to whiny bullshit music, we couldn't agree more. They should definitely "harden the fuck up".

You mentioned that you sprouted a bread from pure will, something like that takes talent. Do you have any other
talents like this you would like to share with our readers?

Did you know? Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat John Joyce. John showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

John Joyce: 2 words for you, cock push ups! yup!!

More importantly though, I seem to have a natural ability to make people around me feel comfortable and calm. It helps a lot as a piercer and as a scarification artists. To be honest it's probably even more relevant with my massage clients.

ToddBlog: Enough cock push ups will make any whiny angst filled teen into a bad ass with enough effort.

Good bed side manner is a definite must to be a quality piercer/scarification artist/rubber downer. Having had at least one of the three performed by you on myself i can say that your bed side manner can definitely put a client at ease (I'm still waiting for my rub down).

We want to touch on a somewhat sensitive subject for you. You mention Shawn Porter being somewhat of a life coach to you, and we know there is a bit more to it than you are letting out. How does Natalie feel about your intimate (and I'm stressing intimate here) relationship with another man? I can't imagine the thought of her future husband having relations with another man which may or may not be taking place on top of a bear skin rug sitting well with her.

Did you know? John Joyce was the fourth Wise man. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have John omitted from the Bible.

John Joyce: I'd like to elaborate more on this relationship between Shawn and I, but... "we said we weren't gonna talk about Cincinnati ever, okay?"
And that is all i have to say about that. However, as a manly bear hunter, I do happen to keep a bear skin rug handy. You just never know when the situation will call for one.

ToddBlog: Agreed. I for one have found myself in many situations where a bear skin rug would indeed come in handy, but unfortunately i am not manly enough to own one.

It's been great chatting with you John. Thanks for giving us a little insight on the man behind the beard. Are there any last words you would like to share with our readers?



Did you know? They once made a John Joyce toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.



John Joyce: you really should look into the bear skin rug todd. It truly is an essential.

It's been great chatting with you as well. last words, hmmm lets see....
First...
For everyone out there right now that thinks they want to be a piercer, don't do it. that is of course unless you can get an apprenticeship with a well respected piercer in this industry. If you can not, just don't do it, there are enough half ass piercers out there and I'm tired of fixing your mistakes. If you're not sure if the piercer you are thinking about apprenticing under is well respected, send Shawn Porter a message and he'll set you straight.

Second... If you are sitting around right now listening to some depressing emo shit, have never had a real job, still live at home, and use phrases like Fuck My Life on a regular basis, harden the fuck up already! Your self deprecating view on life will get you no where. When i was growing up, it was always "fuck you", it was never "fuck me". I don't know when it became cool for guys in their twenties to still act like teenage shitheads, but it's absolutely not cool. Life is what you make it, if you are going around everyday saying fuck my life then that is what you'll get, a fucked life! Shit or get off the pot already, go do something with yourself.
Third... Whatever you are doing, give 100% and do it right. If you want to be a piercer, be the best damn piercer you can be. Don't decide you're going to be a scarification artist when you are still figuring out the basics of piercing. Don't start doing surgical mods when you can't pierce a navel straight. And maybe most importantly, put some thing other than microdermals and corset piercings in your portfolio.

I could keep going but we'll need a whole other interview just for last rants. haha So let's end this on a more positive note. I'm grateful that I've been able to make a career out of doing what I love. I'm even more grateful that I've been excepted into the cranky old piercers club. To all the young piercers out there, keep up the hard work, do your best, keep learning and progressing, know your limits, and stick to your morals and ethics. Do that, and I'll save an easy chair for you so you can bitch with the rest of us. And with that, my coffee is getting cold, so I'm out!





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Round Table 3

Every once in a while we like to chat it up with a few of the industries finest. We talk, we laugh, and sometimes we even cry a little. Well... We don't really cry, because crying is for panzies. But you get the idea.

Anyways... We were fortunate enough to round up a great group for our newest round table disscussion, along with some last minute insight from a few very special people. Allow us to take a moment to introduce you to the crew.

Pictured above: Jareb, Cooter, Sarvas, Shawn, Jean - Pierre, Stephen, and last but certainly not least Brian .

We hope you enjoy this as much as we did.

Flies On The Wall 3: The Jaded Truth.

ToddBlog: We've come a long way since the dawn of the western piercing era, and in retrospect within very little time. The industry has seen many faces come and go, and more and more young piercers are claiming to be "burnt out" on the industry as a whole. What we here at ToddBlog would like to know is: Do you think this will have any bearing on the future of the industry?



Sarvas: OH for sure... The young kids that are "Burnt Out" are really saying "oh wait a minute... i have to put a lot more time, energy, and heart into this job then I originally thought... I just wanted to be cool... get free tats and do stupid shit to my face.." With that attitude there are bad piercings being done daily... It's giving a bad name to all the people that love this job... have put in 150% and aren't ready to quit a bad name... and when you have to work with these people in the same shop it's a direct slap in the face from those types... those people lack the respect for the industry to care about the future... so i think that in the next year or two we'll see those kids try to become tattoo artist... heavy mod artist or scarification artist and start polluting those industries and the people that love to pierce will finally get to clean up the bad name and get the shit on track... it's just going to be more work for them... like usual

dick fuck

Jareb: Sarvas hit that one spot on. Nothing else to add from me.

Sarvas brings up a point, that we'll see a lot of these kids turning into tattoo artists, and I think that's where this whole "burnt out" thing comes from. These kids are generally shop hang-abouts that get offered a job due to them being the most extremely pierced kid in their town or high school, not because they have any love or respect for what they are about to do to other people. Once they start working, they realize it is a job that will never make them a ton of money, like their tattooers are getting, and that's when the "I'm so burnt out" comes in, and then they push and push until they get taken on as a tattoo apprentice, completing the circle of the revolving door of needing another freak to throw needles in 14 year olds.
It is a pain in the collective ass of those of us who enjoy our jobs, as it does give us bad names as piercers, too many "piercers" in a single area, lower wages, less respect, and more hack jobs needing to be fixed.

Cameron: I had a tattooer buddy of mine say to me once that all piercers end up trying to become back alley surgeons or tattooers because there is only so much you can do when you are pushing a fucking needle.

It gets boring. I'll admit it. I've had my spell when I've hated what I did, then I got over and found what I really love about this job...all the free pussy. But when you do find fun in what you do, you do it better, and people will know when you take true pride in what you do and I think a lot of the fun loss in these kids comes from just plain ol' over doing it and putting up ridiculous fronts.

Those fronts end up scabbing up and flaking off, thank god, but when they do, they've already done their harm and it's left to the ol' salts of the piercing world to fix.

Stephen: I think burn out, it it's legitimate form, comes from not having enough opportunities for advancement. If you work in a good, steady shop with benefits, vacation time, etc, then you'll probably be less likely to day dream about something more grand. But if you're working hard, trying to learn, advance, etc, and you get nowhere, well, maybe you find yourself with a bunch of job-stoppers working whatever retail you can find.

Granted, what I'm proposing is kind of an black and white scenario, and there's many shades of grey in between. Some people have the drive to make a wonderful shop of their own, but not the credit to pay for it. Some people have all the money in the world but can't make anything happen to save their lives.

So, yeah, burnout; completely real. Happens to people all the time in other industries, why not this one?

Sarvas: I agree that being burnt out can be real in this industry... but I really think it's not what those kids mean when they say it... I was burnt out at Blue because I worked my ass off and was not appreciated and they kept finding a way to not pay me like the contract we signed said... I was putting a lot of my time in for that business and got nothing in return and cheated at the same time... but at the same time I still loved piercing... That's why I left... I didn't want to think it was over and that is all I got... that was my growth...
I think that is where the problem lies... those burn outs are too lazy to grow, change and better themselves... if they had ambition they would do it and not be burned out... You are a prime example Stephen... I'm sure you weren't "burnt out" you just took an opportunity and did the damn thing... not cuz you had to stay in the industry cuz you made bad choices like tattooing your chin... but because you love this industry and now have a chance to better it working for Anatometal... And Cooter... same thing... I think you and most piercers get "Burnt out" by putting up with bullshit from people that treat this like a job instead of a life style... it's not a 9-5 deal... or a noon-8 deal.. it's a 24-7 thing that when you work and leave you still see people you pierce out around town... you get emails and messages on facespace... and you have to deal with that always... if we worked in retail no one would email us and ask us if we have a small blue shirt in stock like we get when people ask for jewelry or what "sweet gauges" we have... Those people in the industry that hate that they can't just leave the job and forget about it until the next time they work burn the people out that love this job but have to deal with their shitty attitudes... those people need to get fucked and let us love what we do and do what we love...

Jean - Pierre: There's not much I can add to this one that you guys haven't already covered. The evidence I've seen up close and personal always suggests to me that burn-out is already becoming a problem. We've got a piercer in our area, who used to care and did quality work. Now she's got her head up the local roller derby scene's ass. The only problem, is now roller derby is her lifestyle, and piercing has become the job she hates. She hardly ever shows up to work at her shop, and when she does, it's half-assed job time. She's lost the faith, but decided to stick to it half-assed, like the televangelists we laugh about on late night TV. I'm going to reiterate the point that you've all made, it's about living and loving what you do. I can't count the conversations I've had over many a drink about proper placement and technique that I've had with several of you over the years. I also can't can't the number of late nights I've spent on the Internet answering aftercare questions for people I've never met. I live, breathe, eat, sleep, and shit body piercing, and that isn't going to change any time soon. The burn-outs just need to leave, and let the professional life lovers just live their dreams. Luckily the recession is starting to put a damper on people's frivolous spending, and they are finally doing the research on what they want that they should've been doing years ago. I think that the tendency of "piercers" to burn-out is only going to benefit those of us that haven't.

Shawn: Stephen and I like to cook. Cooter is a fisherman and a half and Jareb collects toys. Sarvas gets up to god knows what. We all have interests outside of body modification. I think that's the difference between some of us older folks and the "next generation." Modification is just part of what makes us "us".

JP said: "I live, breathe, eat, sleep, and shit body piercing, and that isn't going to change any time soon." and while I don't want to throw him under the bus I do have to point out that living, breathing, eating, sleeping and shitting body piercing is HOW you get burned out. And yeah. It won't be any time SOON. It'll be once you realize you've spent ten years in a profession that statistically can't offer you a long term career.

Jareb: Shawn's spot on. We all have lives outside the industry, which is why we've all been here for so long, and will continue to be. We love this shit, but we realize it can't be all about it.

What also is separating a lot of us from the younger generation, is our ability to seek advice, (fuck... Didn't I contact you Sarvas recently for some tips?) and acceptance that no matter how long we do this, we still got more to learn. The day you decide you know it all, that's the day to retire.

Stephen: That's a wicked good point Shawn; Having varied interests helps round out a person.. And you and I are plenty round

Shawn: And getting much more well rounded from all that cooking. Who wants an anorexic body piercer/modifier anyway.

Jareb: Fuck skinny piercers! Like I would ever want your no eating meat, hot topic neon girl jeans & clown shoe wearing, shaky ass hands coming near me... Eat some sausages and grow the fuck up. That animal was going to die anyways, might as well feed someone.

Jean - Pierre: Hey, I've been trying to get big, I eat lots of food, once I get old like you guys though, we'll see what happens . I should also mention though, that I do stick to the family business as well, and teach martial arts to local college kids a few days a week. Really though, it's to support my body piercing habit, or "the hobby" as I've heard Shawn put it before. A few years back I was feeling some symptoms of burn-out and decided to go work for the power company. I removed most of my piercings, and spent my days waking up at 6am to climb up telephone poles and fuck with power lines. 6 months in I asked myself what the hell I was doing this for, and wound up back in the game after I realized it was what I'd rather be doing.

Shawn: It's a weird thing to be as young as some of these piercers are already in what they expect to be their lifetime career. And by extension, are already getting burned out.

Had you told Allen Falkner ten years ago that he was going to quit piercing, sell his shop and open up a laser removal business he would have called you nuts. It's the luxury of people of a certain age to think they have it all worked out, but once you realize that 34 is a hell of a lot different than 44, you get an idea that if you don't pace yourself... you have no future in this indust... hobby.

Brian: I have to say, at 34 years old, I'm still very happy doing what I'm doing. Here's what I think. The biggest problem with this industry is the lack of education for the public to help them understand why they are paying more for work they think they can get for half the price down the street, which of course is not the same work. Too many shop owners are out to make quick, easy money off uninformed clients who don't know the importance of quality jewelry and proper sterilization guidelines and too many clients don't know any better and assume if a shop is offering piercing they MUST know what they're doing. They MUST have taken courses and gotten licenses to do what they're doing, right? Hardly. NYC has no regulation governing piercing in anyway, aside from mild age restrictions, but most shops don't even follow those. A lot of quality piercers can't compete with the prices of substandard shops using 20 cent jewelry, so the decline in work makes for a boring work life, which causes frustration, which then causes the flame to burn out.

Shawn: Brian certainly has to acknowledge that his career is an exception to the majority of people who've decided on this career. Think of it in terms of the music industry. You have a million bands out there. A hundred get the contract. A dozen put out a memorable album and one or two if they're lucky go the distance. Those who do... Aside from talent and drive it also helps to have someone pushing your skills. Right?

We were lucky enough to have a few individuals jump into the mix last minute and add their two cents. Here's what they had to say:

Lexci Million: I think the industry is so saturated with piercers as it is that even if piercers young and old are being burnt out and leaving, there will be a lineup of newbies to take the cool guy position left in the wake..

I don't think I'm feeling burnt out, but I'm definitely feeling frustrated with being expected to keep up with the "next new thing" that comes out in body modification.

My shop doesn't offer a lot of things I just personally feel isn't my job to do and as a result a lot of my clients take their business elsewhere because Johnny Modblog who's been piercing a month will totally do it out of the back of his sister's hair salon.

Mike Moore: I've only been piercing for 6 years and i feel that I'm just getting started. i think a lot of people getting burned out so fast aren't utilizing all that this industry has to offer. Some may legitimately be burned out but i feel that a lot of the others are just being lazy. we all have a time where we ask ourselves if this is really what we want to do and most of our answers are fuck yeah. most of the people getting burned out in this over saturated industry are ones that got into it for the wrong reasons and didn't realize that there is more to it then looking cool and putting holes in people. i think the future of the industry will slightly be changed by this but i think the industry will be whatever us "die hard piercers" want it to be.

i don't know if this made sense, i just went on a tangent, haha. and like Lexci said, when one does there is a line of people waiting to get in the door.

John Joyce: Burnt out on piercing??? That doesn't even make sense to me. I've been doing this for 12 years now, and I still love it. I get burned out on owning the business occasionally. I get burned out on babysitting tattoo artists occasionally. Mostly I get burned out from working so damn much, but that goes back to owning the business. I've been working 6 or 7 days a week for the last 12 years, usually 10 hour days. I think with a schedule like that, anyone could get burned out, but then I realize that I'd rather be doing this 60 hours a week, than doing something else for 40. That's where it comes back to, you have to love this! Granted, if some magical position opened up for me where I could have weekends off, be home before the sun went down, get health insurance, and make as much or more than I do now, I may have to take it! hahaha

Honestly, I think the younger people that are getting burned out so soon, is just because they got in for the wrong reason. They didn't get in because they love this industry, they got in because they liked piercings and thought it would be easy money. Don't get me wrong, it is easy money when you first start out. Then you grow up a bit, you get a mortgage, a car payment, maybe you want to start a family and you're going to need to provide for them, and all of a sudden it's not so easy. All of a sudden in order to have enough money you need to work A LOT. There are too many kids right out of high school getting their hands tattooed and stretching their ears up to 2 inches or whatever, thinking it's ok, they can just be a piercer. Then, they realize it's not so easy to just become a piercer, let alone a good one. It's no wonder that I'm doing more ear closing, than I am ear scalpelling now.

The industry is definitely changing, but it has already changed so much from when I first started. I remember when i first started, i was listening to people complain about the same thing my generation is complaining about now, the damn new generation!!! haha The industry will survive, it's not going to be the young kids getting burned out that ruins it. hell, there are too damn many piercers already.

Do i sounds like your grumpy grandfather sitting in his recliner? I hope so, I've worked hard to earn the comfy chair.

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Celebrity Interview

It's that time again kiddies, time for another Celebrity Interview. This time around we felt the need to chat with one of the industry's newest celebrities, Cooter McStinkjaw! You may have come across Cooter in some of the piercing forums or you may have seen in at a nascar event. Either way we are certain he has managed to offend you in some way or another. Without further ado we bring you :

EHHHHHHHHH: An Evening With Cooter.

ToddBlog: So Cooter, why don't you tell our readers a little about yourself.

Cooter: Name's Cooter, I also go by my christian slave name "Cameron". I've been piercing professionally for 6 years and before that we won't get into it suffice it to say I can't believe some of my colleagues in this hobby take me seriously after how I started piercing...but I was never anything close to the hackdom that was Sarvas...well, probably. But that's history.

ToddBlog: We've been told that you recently started referring to yourself as "old school". Have you noticed and sort of change in you status within the industry from doing so?



Cooter: Now now, let's not get our sources confused. I was bestowed the title of "old school", and this is important because I couldn't even pretend to care to give a flying fuck about that kinda crap. I started running my mouth in Internet forums because piercers are retards and it was just too damn easy, plain and simple. You see body piercers are kinda like some women that like to be abused and tormented. You beat 'em up bit, let them run off and lick their wounds, and wait for them to come back for more (somebody prove me wrong. I fucking dare you!). So guess after a couple years of mentally abusing the meek, I gained sometime of "old school" status. Whoever wants to think that can, but I'm simply a fan of doing things simply and not spending my time kissing asses and swinging on nuts to get to the top of...this, "Turd Mountain".

But to comment on people's perception of me as some sort of authority on what I do, on more than a handful occasions I've been given drinks or brought into the "smoking circle" to have my brain picked, only to walk away from it with a free buzz and the general understanding that I'm just a mean ol' redneck.

ToddBlog: Whether you've swung from nuts or simply kissed ass to get to the top of the "turd mountain" as you've so poetically put it, the fact still remains that you have certainly gotten there. But it's not all glitter and glam at the top is it? More and more "old school" piercers like yourself have found it hard to make a living even at the top. Have you ventured into any of means of income?

Cooter: Mount Olympus is an ugly ugly place. Who'd thunk "old school" smelled like taint and cocaine hangovers?

I sell jewelry. That's what I do. I also offer a service that comes with the jewelry. You like what you sell enough and you'll sell it. Even if I'm not exactly where I want to be, where I am compared to where I was is much better.


ToddBlog: You mentioned before that you have been brought into certain circles and offered some sort of trade for the knowledge you have. Can we anticipate some sort of teaching position for you in this industry? Or is that something you would save until you officially retire?

Cooter: Actually, yes! I'm anticipating on teaching advanced curriculum courses at this year's APP Conference. Of course these courses will not be recognized by the APP as an organization but my classes will be the only classes that take place IN the hot tub. Courses will include "He's just a dude", a class that explains to you that half the assholes in the hotel are nobody special regardless of what the fuck they've done and/or who they've slept with, with special guest speaker Shawn Porter who will inevitably deconstruct my course and have sex with each of the attendees, just to prove a point. "Hey you, with the tits!", a course that explains to my students that sexual harassment at conference is nowhere near as offensive you'd think it should, with special guest speaker Sarvas, who's role is obvious. And finally the "Hey, git me a beer" course, in which I'll have you get me a beer and I'll tell you funny stories, smoke cigarettes, and give my opinions on ego and how it's killing what I do for a living.

ToddBlog: Well we sure hope to be able to sit in on some of those this year in Vegas. As we bring this interview to a close, do you have any closing statements you would like to share with our devoted readers?


Cooter: I'll be sure to have a place for Toddblog's Editor-in-chief to sit in on my classes...right on my mustache. ba-zing!


Final words...hmm. well okay. There seems to be a lot of undue hostility out in the professional piercing world and oddly enough it's coming from people who don't even pierce professionally. So then, my final words, would be to them. Pipe down and/or shut the fuck up already.

That's it. oh and, hail satan.

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Happy New Year to all our loyal followers!

We hope all you boys and girls had fun celebrating saying so long to 2009 and hello to 2010. You can rest assured that we brought in the new year in typical ToddBlog fashion. It was a regular red carpet event at the ToddBlog HQ last night and all your favorite celebs were in attendance. Everything from strippers to wrestling midgets could be seen during any point of the evening, Unfortunately, most of us here at HQ don't really remember much, but we have been piecing the night together bit by bit. The main events that have stood out are priceless to say the least.

Highlights include:

Stephen venturing upstairs with what was thought to be a beautiful young lady, only to return moments later less than amused to find out she was in fact a young Mexican lad named Juan.

Tod Almighty bringing a blindingly drunk Cameron to his room to "tuck him in". Come to think of it, that was the last we saw of Tod as well.

Sarvas deciding he wanted to take on all the midgets in a royal rumble style wrestling match, which didn't end too well for our little man child. But don't worry, he is out of the ER with only a minor concussion and a few broken ribs.

As for now, that's about all we can manage to remember, but we really believe the night was a complete success. We hope you all had a great time last night and took you morning after pills this morning. Stay tuned because we have a lot in store for you in 2010. Now to find the Tylenol...

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

I just found these floating around and felt I had to share, because, fuck, they made me laugh..

Have a bitchin' Sunday my peoples.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

"I'll fix *your* little red wagon...." 

Ladies and Gentlemen, The one and only Tod Almighty.

Stay tuned for interviews, roundtable discussions, the return of Todd(blog) from his Mexican vacation and more generaly sillyness.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Bacon Flavored Sex

As you all know, we here at ToddBlog Labs are always on the lookout for great products. You can imagine our amazement when we were shown the newest line of personal lubricants. We havent been able to try it out yet, but we just got word from our "Product Testers" Stephen and Cameron, saying they will be trying it out together very soon. We are sure you two will have a slippery bacony good time. If you guys manage to document the testing, please, don't post the data.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Flies On The Wall 1

Hello loyal readers,

Here at ToddBlog we are constantly striving to help out the future generations of piercers by dropping little hints of advice here and there. We recently decided to ask for a little help from some of the more "well known" people in the industry. So please sit back and take it all in, you just might learn something.

ToddBlog is proud to present it's first in an on going series titled:

Flies On The Wall: A Round Table Discussion.

Lets first meet the esteemed panelists.

Cameron , Stephen , Shawn

Vyky , Cere

ToddBlog: first topic: Drama, lies, and everything in between. We all know that the industry is filled with it. Everything from piercers lying to gain the respect of their peers, sleeping your way to the top (more commonly known as "Star Fucking"), trying to make others look bad to cover their own mistakes, the list goes on and on.

What we would like to know (along with our readers), is what do some of the more important people in the industry think of these methods? We hope that your answers will enlighten some on why these aren't always the best methods to use when trying to gain respect in the industry.

Cameron: Well, I'm not important by any means, I mean shit Shawn O'Hare doesn't know who I am, so that should immediately disqualify me as an "expert witness", if you will.

I'd like to think that most people who have a good head on their shoulders would be able to see through the yarn spun by these folks, but unfortunately the ratio of bullshitters to smart people in the industry, excuse me The Hobby, is in favor of the bullshitters. So that leaves us to where we are today, stuck in an industry that has become a professional farce. I saw a lot of "fucking to the top" at APP this year, granted this is no different than any previous conference that I've been to, but it seems that hot tubs may provide a false sense of privacy. Sure you're underwater, but I can still see that foreign girl eating that drunk chick's box on a dare from "Famous Mod Guy", and so can everyone else. Maybe fucking in public is your thing, go for it and have a blast while your letting every watch you get your fuck on, but we all know that genital osmosis of knowledge is a myth so there really is no point to it and know matter how many body fluids you ingest, it's still not going to make you a better body piercer. (Sorry Cere, I didn't mean to blow up your spot.) Actions such as that are really no different than people who wait outside a tour bus to be the next hole for some dude in a band. Sure you fucked so and so, you're still not cool and now we we all know embarrassing stories about you and how you have a funny shaped vagina and we'll all probably laugh about it in front of your face because, well, it's funny and you obviously don't have too much respect for yourself so why should anyone else?

As for lying to get somewhere, Shawn nailed it in his interview. Nobody checks references, so why not embellish the truth a little, or a lot (looking' at you Greg Duffek), to get a job or to get clients. I can't really follow up on that any better, suffice it to say that when you get caught in your lie you look like a complete and total fucking ass

Shawn: I got quite a few emails when my old friend Sean Philips was doing his "degrade yourself to become an apprentice" thing a while back. Since Sean and I have (good) history, I became a "sounding board" for people who wanted to know if the "Reality Show" culture had finally started influencing the piercing culture and to see if I was, as they were, offended by some of the tasks Sean made the hopefuls do in order to become a piercer. (which, lets be totally honest here- is an occupation with an expiration date for most of the people who get into the business)

The more I thought about it, the more that I realized I was more impressed that people were still even interested in apprenticing than offended at the silly tasks they were given.

As for "fucking to the top"... again, let's call it like it is: Most of the gals who put out to "get somewhere" don't get much farther than being an in-joke between those of us who've messed around with them. Modification is still a boys club when it comes to being a "big name" (which on a long enough time line means nothing anyway)...

Cere: Perfect timing for this topic! Thanks Todd!

Ahhh, the age old topic of star-fucking. It definitely has its advantages and drawbacks. I see nothing wrong with a woman who is impressed that she is in the presence of someone such as myself and understands how great I am and that she should offer herself to me. Actually the fact that she recognizes this just shows that she, more then the regular public not involved in "the hobby", understands the things that are truly great in life... namely myself.

Its when these same women think that the knowledge one contains can be swallowed where the issues arise. Sure you can get a sense of accomplishment and a feeling of wonderment by in taking my glorious nutrients, but will that impart knowledge to you? No. Even if you trick someone using manipulation into giving you a shot at learning, like some stupid-fucking-cunt-who-works-at-a-shop-where-you-wont-find-titanium-oh-wait-they-now-have-full-lines-of-titanium eventually you are found out and in the end you realize that no knowledge was gleaned. Just a lot of cum.

Whew. Let me switch gears to lying about yourself to pump your own fame.

I remember a story of a piercer who believed they were famous. Their claim was based on the idea that they invented a certain kind of style, lets call it "kick and papering" so that I don't out anyone. Anyway they went around claiming they invented it years ago. Well the truth came out eventually that not only did he not invent it, but he only did his FIRST one a week or two before he made those claims! He now has fallen so far he turns to hacks for ear sculpting advice.

Last I heard he was off somewhere correcting a lot of Brian Deckers procedure

Vyky: I'm proud to say I've not banged anyone in this discussion forum.

really? is that all I have to contribute to this conversation?

Cere: Cmon Vyky, let's let the truth out. I'm really your baby's father. I know we were trying to keep it a secret but with Wayde Million about to be born in about 8 1/2 months, we should let the world know about our power couple baby now.

Vyky: On the topic of star-fucking

really? where does it get you? to the top of the vagina transplant list because your own gash looks like it has leprosy from all the disgusting venereal diseases you've accumulated?

Vyky: Secret's out. I banged Cere in Philly and saved his seed for a year and a half and turkey-bastered that shit.

Stephen: Seriously, if you're sucking dick to get to the top or even jump starting an apprenticeship.. Its kind of the same thing as sucking dick for crack.

I think a lot of people take themselves too fucking seriously in The Hobby. But as Kelly Bundy put it on that classic television program "If you think you're hot everyone else will too". To a certain extent it's true. But you do have to have a little grain of truth in there for it to work. And if you put that shit on a hook and cast it out into a sea of noobs, there's always going to be some snapper that bites. Go go scene whore.

ToddBlog: So what you guys are telling us is that those types of behavior not only won't actually get you anywhere, but you will be ridiculed and joked about by the very ones you use these methods on?

Cere: First off Todd if you're in this industry you deserve to be ridiculed and joked about, so thats not the issue really. The real issue is "Will it work?", "Will star-fucking really get you the attention you want?" or if its actual knowledge whether thru an apprenticeship or thru just bullshitting with people you are now spending time with, will star-fucking get you all that.

The answer is Yes, it will. Star-fuckers will have other people not only notice them because they are on someone's arm but also they will be able to pick and glean information from those around them which now include "the elite". So yeah, they'll be joked about and made fun of, but if they didn't star-fuck their way there it would just be something else that they would be made fun of or ridiculed for.

So star-fucking works. We've established that it gets the endgame it wants. What it will NOT get you though is respect as an artist. Everything that star-fucking will get you, the info, access to "celebrities", the exposure, you can get from just walking up to someone and talking to them.

Vyky: So my question to you then, Cere:

Why is a certain horse-faced ugmo still stuck poking holes in silicone in the middle of the desert?

You'd think she could have banged her way into a better job title.

And wait.. Doesn't she know Sarvas?!?!?

Cere: Just cuz it gets you the introductions and knowledge you need doesn't mean you'll use those contacts and information properly. And look, did it work? Look at the attention she has. Really, almost everyone now knows who she is, I mean, here we are discussing her in a roundtable. It worked. her name is known. And being where she is she has access to artists and can pick them for information at anytime. Too bad she isn't smart enough to do anything with it though....

Cameron: I think, Cere, you may be giving star-fucking too much credit. After all we pretty much all agree that piercing has an expiration date, right?

So. Chick sucks a dick, learns some things while she is in the company of people smarter than her, takes that to a shop and pierces for what 3 maybe 4 years before she gives it up for a job with benefits and insurance (or just marries a tattooer), and is titled "that dirty slut that used to pierce."

it all works itself out in the end really, but in the meantime it's just a headache.

Cere: Actually i think we just gave it the same amount of credit. All star-fucking is meant to accomplish it DOES accomplish. Its just not meant to accomplish anything more then 10 minutes and a google search could do.

But what about the other aspect? The part where the girl has no aspirations to be an artist and just wishes to bask in the company of those who are "famous"? Obviously I cant expect you to have met women like that Cameron, since you know, you're no Shawn O Hare, but what's wrong with someone meeting (and then sucking off) a childhood hero? NOTHING I SAY!

Cameron: It's not for me, personally, but if someone else can opportunistically get their rocks of by some else's folly, then game on!

Vyky: Even just reading this conversation makes me feel dirty.

Shawn: When you make a list of world-class practitioners... how many women are on it?

Just saying.

Vyky: What makes a person world class, exactly? Seems like an arbitrary description. Is it by whose name spreads to further corners of the earth or who can stand 100% behind their work?

Shawn: An keep in mind that O'Hare stands 100% behind his work.

Cere: I think both Vyky and a lot more. Not only does a world class artist produce good solid work that they can stand by 100% but they do so with their clients safety and happiness being foremost in mind. A world class artist pushes boundaries safely and add insight and knowledge back into the community they are a part of. They are able to take criticism and give it back constructively both elevating themselves and their peers.

Because of the above traits they earn respect and their name does get around. You can DEFINITELY be well known and not be a world class artist.

Shawn: When I say practitioners, I don't generally mean piercers. Are there "world class" female piercers? Absolutely. But piercing, as much as you'd like to call it an art, is a skill.

You look at the worlds of scarification, tattooing, surgical work... it's a boys club. That's not to say women aren't CAPABLE of surpassing their peers and becoming what I'd consider world class- it's just that they haven't.

ToddBlog: Well, i guess that concludes our discussion. We wanna thank you guys for taking time out of you busy schedules to be a part of this. We hope to hear from you all again when we have our next discussion. Until then, we hope our readers enjoy what you have had to say.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Dynamic Duo

Over the years there have been many outstanding Duos. Duos like Batman and Robin, Shaggy and Scooby Doo, Zim and Gir, Tango and Cash, ect...

We here at ToddBlog wanted to let you in on one more, Scott and Shawn. I don't think they will be rescuing your cat out of any trees, but a duo none the less.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Alright ToddBloggers, 200 scene points to the first person to identify the slapchop that Vince is holding up. If you were in Vegas, your vote doesn't count.

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ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *

Now That's A Telescopic Lens

We know you have seen him before, running around at parties snapping pictures and eating bacon. But we here at TBHQ thought you should all take a moment and thank Brian for catching all of the little moments that we all hold dear. Plus, we want to get the horrifying picture Stephen posted as far down towards the previous page as possible. So please, thank Brian. He helps us in so many ways.

Want to be featured on ToddBlog? Please send your photos and stories to
ToddBlog * Please note that although we here at ToddBlog appreciate your support, not all submissions will be posted. *